The age-old battle of teens rebelling from parental control is happening on new ground: the digital world. Parents of teens often consider if they are being too strict or too loose with tech rules. Teens are advocating for more freedom and less restriction in the digital realm.
If you’re wondering if using parental controls is still appropriate for teens, the short answer is yes. Keep controls and limits in place until they have proven themselves able to handle the freedom.
Not all teens are the same, but similar tech rules can apply.
A one-size-fits-all approach to parenting teens will surely fail. Their rate of development and maturity varies so greatly that even twins are not always ready for the same freedoms. You wouldn’t hand them the keys to the car before they were licensed to drive, right? Complete technological freedom should be treated the same way.
While you don’t need a license to operate a cell phone or laptop (perhaps you should!), you can assess your teen’s skills by monitoring their online presence first.
Why consider using Parental Controls with older teens?
- Screen Time Management: Too much screen time is correlated with psychological issues like anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. An excess of screen time is also linked with sleep deprivation, attentional problems, and low academic performance.
- Content Filtering: Not all internet content is safe or appropriate for your teen. Parental controls can filter inappropriate content from your teen’s hands before they stumble upon it.
- Cyberbullying and Safety: The risks from online predators, hackers, and cyberbullies are ever-present. Parental control apps like MMGuardian can alert you to harmful threats in real-time.
If you are wondering whether you should use parental controls with your teen or let them fly solo, here are some points to consider.
Things to consider BEFORE removing parental controls:
- Are they demonstrating responsible behavior in other areas?
Suppose your teen is attending school regularly and putting in their best effort, meeting your expectations at home, and working in a job or volunteering. In that case, these are ways they are showing maturity.
- Which controls are you most comfortable giving up?
Before you sit down to a discussion with your teen:
- Identify which parental controls you are most comfortable removing.
- Choose the ones that will give your teen more freedom and allow you to monitor their interactions.
- Identify which of the online dangers you are most worried about. If you are more concerned with inappropriate content over screen time, you can adjust your negotiation for parental controls accordingly.
- Which controls does your teen want to remove the most?
It is important to value your teen’s desires. Remember, we are modeling good relationships for them. While you may want to have more control over your child’s online life, this process is an opportunity to teach them to advocate for themselves. Through this negotiation, you are instructing them on how to collaborate with people in their lives.
- What will be the consequence if they make a mistake?
Inevitably, they will feel some growing pains. If they misuse technology, exhibit inappropriate behavior, or break a rule, there should be an appropriate consequence. Discussing the potential consequences in advance may prevent them from taking the risk in the first place.
Shifting the Focus from Control to Collaboration
As they evolve from child to adult, the parent/child relationship shifts. Inviting your teen to collaborate with you instead of living under your rule shows them you believe in their capability. Some key pieces to a collaborative relationship with your teen are:
- Communication without fear of punishment
- A Focus on Safety and Responsibility
- Negotiate and Co-create rules
Parental Controls Beyond Software:
While phone and in-app protections are helpful, there is no substitute for the original parental control: good parenting. Communicate with your child and follow these guidelines:
- Talk about online safety: Educate them on the dangers and consequences of inappropriate online behavior.
- Lead by example: Model best tech practices like staying off your devices during family time and being aware of screen time usage.
- Open communication is key: Ensure they feel safe coming to you with concerns. They are less likely to tell you about their problems if they fear punishment or a lecture.
Remember Not to Micromanage
Parents of teens know that the tighter the grasp, the more resistance you will receive. Parental controls exist in various apps and programs, so it can be enticing to know everything your teen is doing in the digital world. Anytime parenting crosses the line into micromanaging your child’s life, it does the child a disservice. Failure is one of life’s greatest teachers. Show your teen that you are willing to give them certain freedoms while protecting them from the big bad world. Use communication and compromise to make a plan you all can agree to.
Implementing parental controls with an older teen would be difficult if you’ve never used them before. However, if you are experiencing challenging and concerning behaviors, some more serious interventions might be necessary.
If parent controls seem overwhelming or too strict for you:
A one-stop-shop approach to parental controls is available in apps like MMGuardain. Instead of learning all the parental control options of iPhone or Android apps, you can protect your child using one app. MMGuardian uses AI-powered monitoring of your teen’s phone and can alert you only when there is a problem. This approach works best for the busy parent and the not-so-tech-savvy parent. Let the app work for you, and you can take a relaxed approach while protecting your teen.
Whether you choose to use a monitoring app like MMGuardian, or only implement controls on specific apps, how you guide your teen through the online universe is a parent’s choice. As your teen becomes an adult, teach them to monitor their use while protecting their personal information so they can safely enjoy all that the digital world has to offer.
